Kathryn's Blog

Is this nuts or what?

Here’s a letter to Dr. Joyce Brothers from the Seattle Times:

DEAR DR. BROTHERS: I started talking to this guy on a dating site on the Internet. At first, I didn’t think I would like him or meet him or anything like that, so I gave him the standard pack of lies about myself. I mean, I lied about my age, my weight, my name, my education and other facts you don’t want to tell a stranger. But now, after a month of chatting together, we are about to meet. It turns out I am very interested in him, based on similar interests and hobbies we have (these I didn’t fake). Should I confess about my lies before we meet, or just surprise him?—M.C.

DEAR M.C.: Before we deal with your upcoming meeting, I’d like to talk a little bit about giving strangers on a dating site a “standard pack of lies” about yourself. I think it is wise not to reveal things like real names, phone numbers, addresses or employers to just anyone, and I’m glad you are prudent. But you should use the type of dating site where you can feel comfortable telling the truth about your age, weight and hair color—in other words, one where there isn’t a lot of pressure to present yourself as looking a certain way.

It sounds as though your incipient friendship is not based on those things you lied about, but on the hobbies and activities you might enjoy together. That’s excellent—and if your new friend can get past the fact that you lied about the other things, it sounds as though you might have a chance to develop a real relationship. But be prepared for him to be disappointed or even angry—especially if he didn’t lie to you. Tell him now, so you can meet on an even playing field.

Standard pack of lies???  Is their a pack of lies that is “STANDARD” nowadays?  This woman should fess up, apologize for her caddish behavior, and beg forgiveness.  And the guy should NOT agree to meet her, if he cares about his future, at all.

From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord



I always wonder why a person lies about things like these?  Especially if your planning on meeting someone and if your on a dating site then you must want to eventually meet in person i would assume? 
You wouldnt want the other person to lie to you about what they look like would you? 
Just my .02

Isn’t that the truth?  Why would someone rather be seen as a liar than as their real age?  Or height?  Things you can’t do anything about ... but you can do something about having integrity.  Do yourself a favor and always tell the truth.


I felt like I was being deceptive on a dating site. It was my picture that was deceptive.  I took over 100 pictures before I got the best one.  It looked TOO good.  I don’t look like that all the time and I don’t smile all the time.  It was misleading.  I got tons of responses but all these guys expected me to meet them looking like that picture.  It stressed me out so bad that I pulled my profile.

To the question on why people post fake photo’s, the answer would be the sheer competition makes them feel insecure and makes them do any thing and everything possible to become a winner. I think it’s the online dating phenomenon that has created lairs than people being liars in their nature.

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