Kathryn's Blog

Boo! Your Scariest Questions!

In my last *eMAIL to eMATE* newsletter, I held a contest, asking readers to submit their scariest fears about finding love.  Wow, did I get a great response or what?  The winning question “What if I never find a mate?” is answered in the special Halloween *eMAIL to eMATE* that I just sent out.  If you are not a subscriber, you should be.  Click here to see this Halloween issue, click here to subscribe.

My readers sent me such good questions, and such universal ones, that I compiled them with my answers in another ebook: Boo! Your Scariest Questions Answered Here are some of the questions I tackle in Boo!:

Take a look at the questions I address:

Why am I so scary to men?
Men tell me I am too unattractive.  What can I do?
What if I am completely unlovable?
How do you find dates that are not going to Psychologists or on drugs?
How do you overcome a bad luck star in you that sabotages any true love?
Am I too old to start over?
How am I going to “measure up” at my age?
How do I handle the fear of another divorce?
How do I spend time with someone and always have something to talk about?
I’m afraid to be more emotionally involved and get hurt again.
How do I tell that I am a recovering alcoholic?
How do I tell that I’m a survivor of sexual assault?
How do I tell that I lied about my age?

Maybe you’ve got similar questions.  Here’s your chance for answers, just for the price of the book.

If you subscribe to *eMAIL to eMATE*, you can get your copy for the special Halloween reduced rate: $9.95.  After this week, Boo! will sell for the same price as most of my other ebooks: $19.95.


How did I get so lucky?

This morning, I am feeling incredibly lucky.  Drew (my Match.com hubby) and I are at our home in Maine.  It’s on an island, and last night we had a fierce rain and wind storm.  Then in the middle of the night, it cleared and the nearly full moon shown through our bedroom window and right on our faces.  Did you know that sleeping in the light from the full moon can make you loony?  Maybe you thought I was anyway.

So here this morning, the air is fresh, clear and cold.  We’ve got a fire in the wood stove to warm us up, the sun is shining, and we are watching the birds gobble up the suet, peanut butter and bird seed sandwich we hung for them from the maple tree out front.

So yes, I am feeling lucky.  But I got lucky by DOING, not just by crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.  I built this house myself, literally, thirty years ago.  I carved the woods back, planted, painted, and pruned.  Now Drew does most of the heavy stuff and I get to try new recipes.  Last week we made grape jelly—I’ve made jam plenty of times, but never jelly.  It was a first. 

I’m with Drew because of what we did, both of us.  We were lucky to meet, but we made our own luck.  Luck does not just happen.  You make it.

If you want to get luckier, you might want to try my ecourse Ten Days to Get Lucky at Love Try doing something right now and see if you get luckier.


Love notes to me

Everybody has got to love love notes, and I am no exception.  Here’s one I got from a client recently—I had just finished a draft of a new profile essay for her, and you can see here that it fit perfectly.  If your profile could use work, it’s the most popular service I offer.  Here’s how to set your profile review up: Click here!

Hi Kathryn!

This is so EXCITING!  I love it!!!

OMG - seeing the DANCE PART in print makes me realize that I’m “talking the talk” - so I better hurry up and take some lessons so I can “walk the walk”!!!

It’s very Upbeat and extroverted - just like “me"… I’m going to look it over more carefully over the weekend - but I think it sounds great!

Many Thanks, Kathryn…

Have a great weekend!



Something for Everybody

Isn’t the Internet wonderful?  I love being able to go to Google, type in just about any shred of data, and find pertinent information.  What did we do before Google?  It wasn’t even that long ago that we had to do without it, and we didn’t even know what we were missing.

Likewise with dating sites: There are the biggies, Yahoo! Personals, Match.com, and eHarmony, but more and more, these sites are for “normal” folks with few if any flaws.  What if you have a big flaw, as far as dating goes, not just a few extra pounds or too few little inches in height, but lots of pounds or very few inches?  Or a sexually transmitted disease, or surgically altered genitals, or a genuine disability like deafness or paraplegia? Presto!  The Internet is coming up with sites just for you.

Here’s an article below listing lots of sites for the out of the ordinary.  Some may be understandable and welcome, like DateaLittle.com for very short-statured people, but you may wonder about others like DailyDiapers.com.  Then again, it’s like sites for married folks looking for affairs: It’s just as well that these folks have their own place to go so that they aren’t lurking around the mainstream sites looking for unsuspecting victims.

If you are “out of the mainstream” and looking for a date, you may find a resource in the article below.  Or if not, go to Google and type in your defining term (Like dwarf or transgendered) and then +"dating site”.  And see what you get.  Good luck!

Deaf and single? There’s a dating Web site for you

Associated Press

Paraplegics need love too. So do cross-dressers, dwarfs, addicts and burn victims.

Oh, and we can’t forget the impotent, diabetic and irritable-bowel sufferers.

How do they find true love on Match.com, eHarmony and Yahoo! Personals?

Dating went digital a long time ago, but the options these days are dizzying. Web sites cater to people with HIV and herpes, people who are tall or short, who are “married but looking,” who love pets, wine, tennis, scuba diving and golf.

There are niche dating sites for every political affiliation, religion and ethnic group. There are ones for Trekkies (TrekPassions.com) and lonely Ayn Rand fans (atlasphere.com).

Of course, none of these niche dating sites can boast the huge memberships of a Match.com.

But some people find them more appealing than sifting through thousands of profiles. If a quadriplegic wants to date another quadriplegic, why waste time on eHarmony?

“You have a few gigantic general dating sites that have so many members. Most people are going with them,” said Lisa Daily, a relationships expert and author of Stop Getting Dumped! “But what’s happening is a lot of people don’t want to date in the general public. Relationships are based on shared experiences. If you come into it already with something like herpes, that can be a help.”

What are some of the most specialized sites?

• 18wheelsingles.com: “Where single truckers meet significant others.” SWF looking for a truck driver for companionship and to ride the open road. Also check: truckerpassions.com.

• Airtroductions.com: Who hasn’t dreamed of meeting someone on a plane? Create a profile, enter your flight information (flight number, airports, date and time) and select a match.

• Cisforcupid.com: Breast cancer survivor searching for prostate cancer survivor for companionship and emotional support? Cancer survivors founded this site earlier this year.

• DailyDiapers.com: Wear Depends? Or Pampers? This site is described as a community for adult babies, diaper lovers, big kids, mommies and daddies.

• DateALittle.com: This dating site caters to people with dwarfism and others of short stature; men under 5 feet 6 inches tall and women under 5 feet tall. Also check out LittlePeopleMeet.com.

• Datingpro.com: For those with no luck finding a perfect match. Design your own professional dating site.

• Deafs.com: “Where deaf friends and singles feel at home!” Partially deaf man seeks woman for intimate conversation. Must not mind speaking up. Sign language knowledge a plus. Also check out: deafpassions.com, deafsinglesconnection.com and soulmatesource.com/deafpeoplemeet.html.

• Disabledpassions.com: For the quadriplegic searching for that special someone. This site caters to people with disabilities, ranging from visual impairment and deafness to people who use wheelchairs. Some others: disabled-world.com, whispers4u.com.

• Hairfetishpersonals.com: Men, get rid of that toupee. Women stop hiding that bald head under a wig. The singles on this site love the bald look, whether it’s on a man or a woman.

• IrritatedBeingSingle.com: This site is for sufferers of irritable-bowel syndrome and Crohn’s disease because, “there is no better feeling than being with someone who understands exactly what you are going through.”

• Kizmeet.com: Helps you find those missed connections. (You danced with a hottie at the club last night but never got his name.) Search postings within specific locations, such as bar, club, coffee shop, in 17 cities.

• Marry-an-ugly-millionaire-online-dating-agency.com: Beautiful woman searching for ugly millionaire to shower her with diamonds. This dating site matches the poor with the filthy rich.

• MeetAnOstoMate.com: Wearing a colostomy bag? A dating site designed for ostomates.

• NoLongerLonely.com: A dating site for people with mental illess. Also check out: bipolarparty.com.

• Poormatch.com: Bills itself as the worst dating site in the world.

“Over one million people have had lukewarm romantic encounters since joining Poormatch.com.”

Prescription4Love.com: P4L is for singles who suffer from an array of health conditions, including burn victims, arthritis, infertility or impotence, deafness, HIV and lupus.

Recoveringmates.com: For people recovering from an addiction, such as alcohol or drugs. This dating site boasts the largest database of sober singles.

Sugardaddie.com: Boasts that it has the “most attractive, wealthy and desirable people in online dating.”

Talldates.com: M4M (men for men) dating site because “ordinary gay sites seem to exclude guys who get off on height differences.” Also check out: Tallmentogether.com.

Transpassions.com: MTF pre-op searching for FTM pre-op for a real relationship. NO GAMES. A dating Web site for cross dressers, transgenders and transsexual singles. Some others: tgconnect.com and tg.matchopolis.com.


Is Pepper Schwartz’s New Book a Must Read?

I first heard of Pepper Schwartz years and years ago (well, it was published in 1985) when I read her book with Philip Blumstein “American Couples.” It was a heavy tome filled with eye-popping charts and graphs of their work with couples, gay and straight.  I loved it and it heavily influenced my thinking about couples and how they relate.

Schwartz writes prolifically (just go to Amazon and type in her name), but she is most relevant to my work with helping singles find love in her incarnation as the expert behind the matching system at PerfectMatch.com.  She just came out with a new book Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years which sounds right up my alley, right?  I thought so too, and ordered and read it.

Eeeesh.  I wish I could say I liked it, but I didn’t.  Sprinkled in amongst her own pretty exhibitionistic stories about having lots of great sex with lots of great guys in lots of great places was some sound advice about online dating, but nothing extraordinary, frankly.  That advice is just about all contained in the article below that appeared in the Seattle Times where she lives.  I’ll underline it in the article so that you can see what I really did like about what she wrote.  But frankly, you can skip the book, unless you want to torture yourself by reading some over-the-top sex pieces that strain credulity, or if they are true, are out of reach of 99.99% of women over 60.  I found it pretty embarrassing, actually.  I’d prefer the more academic Pepper Schwartz.

Relationship expert finds herself dating again

By Pepper Schwartz

Special to The Seattle Times

Pepper Schwartz
Schwartz is a sociology professor at the University of Washington and author of 15 books, including her latest, “Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years” (Collins, 2007; $24.95), a personal account of re-entering the dating world after divorce. Schwartz, a Ph.D., is also the relationship expert for Perfectmatch.com, where she co-developed the Duet personality profile matching system.

There is nothing quite as disconcerting as having to follow your own advice. After 30 years of answering people’s questions about their emotional, sexual and romantic lives, I found myself in the somewhat ironic situation of having to pose, and answer, some of these same questions for myself.

At first, like most people who have just gotten a divorce, I wanted to stay home, do some soul searching, figure out what went wrong and what part I had in it.

But soon there is that familiar itch: the desire for intimacy, connection, sex and, in my case, adventure. Love would be nice, too, but honestly, when you have just disconnected from a 23-year marriage, sex and companionship seem a lot less complicated than love and commitment do, and therefore a lot more imaginable.

As a relationship expert, finding that connection should have been a piece of cake, right?

Wrong. As every doctor knows, it’s different when you’re the patient. I had many of the qualms of re-entry that everyone does. So I had to embark on a fix-up campaign to get myself date-ready — and think about what I actually wanted and who I was looking for.

One thing I knew: I was starting over again at 55.

I started out by creating a new philosophy about sex and love. I decided that the only way I would figure out who and what I wanted was by meeting a wide range of men — cowboys, poets, fishermen, chefs, CEOs, or whoever else crossed my path. The “how” of it was pretty easy — I knew the online dating scene as the relationship expert for Perfectmatch.com — now I just had to go explore dating online myself.

That the dating expert would be looking for a date was a little embarrassing, so I didn’t put my picture on the site. Instead, I looked at men’s profiles, and if they were intriguing, I’d invite them to look at a description of me. If they liked that, I promised to send a picture.

Thus started a chain of “coffee dates” that online daters know only too well. These short encounters exist for a reason; a quick in, then out if the guy’s not OK. I learned this the hard way when a guy who said he had always admired me wanted to take me out to a really nice dinner. I relented when he suggested Canlis, one of my favorite places in Seattle.

Once we got there, however, I might as well have gone alone. He talked so fast and so much that all I could do was sit there and time him, thinking maybe I was witnessing some kind of world’s record for self-absorption. At 45 minutes, he looked up, a little dazed with his own chatter and said, “Am I talking too much?” I said, “Yes, actually you are.”

He looked abashed and then, I kid you not, talked on for another 20 minutes. I had time to listen, chew my food very carefully, and learn not to allow more than a half-hour for a first meeting.

There were other colorful characters, some so unusual that I learned to think of dating as anthropological fieldwork. I decided each person would have something to teach me, no matter how dreadful a match we might be for each other.


My favorite oddity was a man who was handsome, smart, nice and accomplished. He seemed like a perfectly fine bet for a relationship. There was only one problem: he could not pass a beast without making that animal’s noises. We decided to go hiking in the Methow Valley and stay over at Sun Mountain Lodge. But the ride there killed the possibility of anything more physical than climbing up a few hills. If we saw a horse, he neighed, a dog, he produced a bark, a cat — well, you know. I was afraid to order a steak.

Of course not all of these dates produced a humorous or strange story. Some produced all kinds of satisfaction: intellectual, emotional and sexual.

Dating, though difficult and disappointing when love didn’t last, was clearly possible and often fabulous, no matter that my 20s and 30s were distant memories. I have come to believe that love is possible at any age, that romance and passion are no less intense at middle or old age than they were when we were barely out of our teens, and that all of this can be ours if we put ourselves out there, learn how to handle loss or rejection, and have the resilience to pick ourselves up and start the process all over again.

This is the very cycle that many women and men just can’t bear to face, but I have to say, the happy moments justify having to deal with the sad ones. Love is life-giving, passion helps sustain our youthfulness, and relationships help us to grow and develop heart and character. All of that is just too good to miss.

I met the man I am dating now online. Honestly I don’t remember why I picked him out except that he was attractive, wrote well and sounded like a sincere, bright, athletic, nice person. I contacted him and said I was interested. He replied that he thought he knew who I was, and he was a little put off about meeting another ambitious, busy, Type-A woman. He had gone that route before and wasn’t sure it was a good fit.

I wrote him back that yes, he had guessed who I was and what I was like. But I thought we should meet anyway. I mentioned the scene in “Notting Hill” where Julia Roberts has to convince Hugh Grant that her world isn’t all she is. She says something like, “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy… .”

He replied, “OK, you got me with that one.” We met for coffee. He was even more handsome in person than in his picture, and a genuinely nice and witty man. This was last autumn, and we have been dating ever since.

The Internet is your friend

The Internet is one of the most efficient and safe ways to find romance. I still hear women and men voicing fears of who’s on there, but believe me, it’s a godsend to older people who aren’t meeting loads of eligible partners.

You get a lot more information about someone you’ve met in cyberspace than you do in other kinds of one-time contact. There are bad dates everywhere, but the Internet has no more than other parts of the dating world do — and probably less.

Writing a profile

Put out your best stuff. Don’t lie, but you can omit your flaws. Everyone has them and they don’t need to be in your first sentence. Leave out anything but a brief mention of children — you are looking for a partner, not a father or mother. If they are partner material, then you can see if they will fit into your family or vice versa.

Use a good picture, but make sure it’s yours and wasn’t taken for your high school graduation. Avoid anyone who has a blurry picture, sunglasses or won’t show you a picture on request.

Talking on the phone

Don’t wait too long before making this relationship aural. If you like each other online, then relatively quickly transfer it to the phone. (Use a non-traceable number just in case you do meet Mr./Ms. Wrong and don’t want them to know your phone number.)

If you let the e-mail relationship go on too long, you may be caught in a fantasy perception of this person that gets you way too attached before you have a better sense of who she or he really is. Hearing their voice and talking is the first test of finding out who they really are.

Meeting someone

Likewise, once you’ve talked, arrange to meet fairly soon. I’ve known people who were just about saying “I love you” because of the intimacy and beauty of what they wrote to each other — until they met in person and one of them realized there was no chemistry.

Use the half-hour meeting rule (you can always extend it). If it’s really a great match, there will be a second date.

Remember to listen and ask questions — both of you are being interviewed — each of you should know more about the other than when you started. Do not complain even if your day was a horror and your kids robbed a bank.

Don’t dump on your ex even though you are sorely tempted. Everyone will always be thinking, “… and what would he/she be saying about me?” Try to see if there is any reason you two should know each other that is not readily apparent — i.e., explore hobbies, values, lifestyle, talents, passions.

Don’t give up

I don’t care if the first 15 dates are duds. There is someone out there for you.


Matchmakers Meet

Last weekend, Drew and I were in New York City (or more precisely, Weehawken, NJ, which is right across the river from Manhattan) at the “Worldwide Conference” of Matchmakers. This was the first one ever, or at least in recent memory, and what an interesting group of people to spend some time with!  Graciously, or perhaps to improve the attendance, the matchmakers also included dating coaches, which is why I was there.

I’ve written about matchmakers here in my blog before. Frankly, I am such a do-it-yourselfer that I just can’t see paying someone else to do the work for me.  It’s hard for me to take people seriously when they complain about how much Internet dating costs.  It’s CHEAP, particularly when you start looking around at matchmakers.  One guy at the conference was with a business that charges $60,000 to $120,000!!!  Yup, that’s the right number of zeros you are seeing.

Matchmakers have seen a surge in business by riding on the coattails of Internet dating.  While dating sites do take a chunk of business that matchmakers might have gotten before, Internet dating has paved the way for people to actually think about hiring someone to help them find love.  And the theme I heard over and over was the potential market for matchmakers in frustrated online daters.

Still, the fantasy that many may have about matchmakers being able to find you a mate when you can’t find one yourself has many limitations.  First, you still better be pretty marketable yourself: Attractive, in good health, not too old, and with something to offer.  Particularly if you are female.  ALL the matchmakers complained about the shortage of men, where do you find dates for these ladies?

And remember, matchmakers can only match you with people they have on their own roster.  What if your perfect mate lives outside the matchmaker’s area, or would never sign up?  Most matchmakers do not allow browsing through their roster either.  You are subject to who they pick for you.  Me?  Uh uh.

Matchmakers also remind me of eHarmony, in that they do not take on people they don’t think they can match.  Or the less ethical may take a client regardless of their match-ability, simply for the money.  Yick.  In fact, matchmakers used to routinely reject all women Over a Certain Age (like 40 or 45).  For sure, the older you are if you are female, the greater your chances of being turned down by the matchmaker.  Let alone a date.

So if you are male, have the bucks to spend, and no time to waste, you might do okay with matchmaking.  However if you are female and over 40, you’d do much better getting online and doing the work yourself.  That’s where the guys are. 


Has True.com Overpromised and Overspent?

Looks like some of the chickens have come home to roost with True.com, or at least True is not selling the eggs that it hoped.  See the article below from the New York Times:

September 14, 2007, 1:08 pm
Is True.com Being Untrue to Advertising Partners?

By Brad Stone

Tags: LowerMyBills.com, MySpace, True.com

Feeling a deep but unexplained sense of loss? It might be due to the sudden disappearance of those salacious and once-ubiquitous ads from the Internet dating site True.com.

We wrote about True.com in March, when it was one of the largest advertisers on MySpace. The company, based in Dallas, had steamrolled through the online dating industry with an interesting combination of tactics: sexually provocative ads; sanctimonious state lobbying campaigns for mandatory criminal background checks on members of all Web sites; and finally, what customers called deceptive behavior toward people who try to cancel the $49.95-a-month service.

The ads, in particular, seemed to be working. According to Hitwise, True was the most visited online dating site in March, ahead of Match.com, eHarmony and Yahoo Personals.

But by July, True.com had fallen to sixth on the list – and its display ads have now largely disappeared from the Web.

The reason? An executive at a major Internet company says that True is delinquent on its advertising payments to his site and sites across the Web, and has had to cut back on its advertising. That company is no longer accepting ads from True.com.

Reached by phone yesterday, a True.com spokeswoman, Terra Gray McClelland, said that she would check out the allegation. Today, she e-mailed this statement: “It would be inappropriate to speculate on hearsay.”

The talk of money problems at True.com does not surprise at least one watcher of the online dating industry. Mark Brooks is the editor of Online Personals Watch and was a consultant to True.com in the past. He said people in the industry had told him that as of a few weeks ago, True was looking at “considerable” seven-figure advertising bills from several major Internet sites.

“The amount of advertising they did, even in the very early days, was astounding. They were pricing everyone else out of the market,” Mr. Brooks said. “They have been most the aggressive player in the industry for the longest time on many levels.”

Mr. Brooks said trouble at True would have mixed consequences for the online dating industry. On the positive side, True’s aggressive tactics were driving up the price of search keywords and display advertising, and its pullback should restore some sanity to ad prices. On the other hand, he said, high-profile problems at True.com might damage the reputation of the whole online dating industry.

Talk of problems at True follows on the heels of trouble for another controversial bulk advertiser, LowerMyBills.com. The ubiquitous lending site also appears to be pulling back on its distracting, dancing display ads amid the decline in the overall mortgage market.



Goodness, leave it to the French to strip away the layers and get right to the nitty-gritty.  We’ve known all along that Internet dating was about quick hook-ups and not about finding a mate, right?  NOT!  But I do think that the author has the slant wrong here: The French are more about seduction than romance, and they are much more frank about it.  As this article implies.

Flirting and fornicating
Agnes Poirier

“Forty-one encounters, 39 penetrations,” stated an elegant Parisian art dealer when asked by a journalist from Marie Claire about his gallivanting on Meetic, the first European dating website. This French company has, in only six years, spread its cupid wings to 17 countries, including China and Brazil; made online dating available in 12 different languages; boasted 22-million users; and is now No 2 in the world just behind the United States’s match.com. Last January it bought DatingDirect, Britain’s No 1 dating website, and on Valentine’s Day announced a rise in profits of 70%, to £18-million.

In France alone, five million people spend precious hours chatting every day, flirting, meeting and fornicating with perfect strangers. It has become such a social phenomenon that teams of screenwriters are competing to get the first film done on the subject. Meetic has become an egalitarian hub, visited by as many women as men. Surveys and statistics have proved that Meetic is the most “efficient” of all online dating websites. Many of the users I know would agree.

“Meetic is the best. And it’s a super ego-booster. Every evening I’m on it, I have at least 30 men wanting to chat with me and meet me,” says a French senior civil servant, a single woman in her early 30s. Before contacting her, the 30 men have clicked on the “flash” icon to let her know that they find her especially attractive. Before condescending to reply, she double-checks their profile: age, picture, education, income and marital status.

She chooses them like a discerning consumer, and only replies to married men. “For the moment, I am looking for fun, not love. I do a first pre-selection, and send a standard reply to the unlucky ones out of courtesy. As for the selected few, according to their wit and their language skills ... I draw a shortlist of perhaps three and agree to meet them. If I like them, we usually go straight from the cafe to my flat.”

It’s a simple issue of supply and demand: pre-select candidates, test sales pitch, draw a shortlist, have a face-to-face interview, hire on the spot, dismiss without notice, voila—a case of ultra-liberalism meets romance. And low-cost sex.

But perhaps the most unsettling thing about the whole affair is that Meetic is operating from France, supposedly the country of romance and gallantry. French films of the past century have all conveyed a grand idea of l’amour a la francaise: the penetrating gaze, the blushing, the first words, the long walks, impassioned silences, a steady crescendo of desire fuelled by months of courtship.

“I have no more time to waste trying to charm girls in cafes ... the process is too long and too arduous,” says a 25-year-old Parisian man. “With Meetic ... I often score on the first date. Not long ago, when I was a teenager, girls kept me salivating for weeks. Forget it.”

Instant success, instant reward; flirt as you go, pay later, at the shrink’s. An older man sounds less enthusiastic. “When I was looking for a girlfriend, I used Meetic and had a few affairs,” he says. “One in particular was great, I was falling in love. Then one evening, she said: ‘Let’s be friends, you’re not rich enough for me.’ This was such a shock; I felt like a commodity, I had to start therapy.”

The irony is that Meetic’s founder, Marc Simoncini, insists that the site’s success lies in its being distinctively “European and Latin”. “People can meet freely on Meetic, they can talk to each other directly across Europe.” Unlike Match.com, which does the matching for you. Americans would be horrified at the idea of married people dating freely, but making adultery and sex as easy as buying a croissant shouldn’t necessarily be France’s only gift to online dating.

Will the last romantic to leave France please turn out the lights?


The World’s Oldest Profession Loses Business to Dating Sites

I guess this is news, but I’m not sure if it is good news for anybody.  But at least these sites are siphoning off the business of people who are just looking for sex from the mainline sites like Match and Yahoo! Personals.

Brothels take spanking from dating sites

THE sex industry is taking a spanking from online dating websites providing “adult” contacts with minimal costs to customers, according to business analysts.
Adult dating sites such as adultmatchmaker.com.au allow people to find sexual partners without the “moral difficulties” of visiting a brothel, said analysts IBISWorld.

“Internet sites promoting sexual rendezvous between strangers with no exchange of funds have seen strong growth in recent years,” said IBISWorld general manager Jason Baker.

“These negate the need to pay for sexual gratification and sidestep many of the moral difficulties posed by soliciting prostitutes, making them a popular alternative.”

But while the industry’s traditional customers – young men – were spending more time hooking up online, Mr Baker said the number of female clients was set to grow.

“Given the increasingly sexual liberalisation of society, and particularly the sexual freedom of women, we anticipate the female customer segment will grow,” he said.

“We predict an increase in the number of women not only paying for sexual services, but visiting strip clubs and accessing sexual material via the telephone, internet, pay TV and DVD.”

High-end escort agencies were expected to be buffered from the impact of online dating, as they offered a more glamourous alternative than internet sites.



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