Kathryn's Blog

The “Haven’t yet” Attitude

Here’s an interesting perspective about singles’ satisfaction with Internet dating: Either they get frustrated or they get married. An article in the Mercury News Male Call described an informal survey: The columnist asked for responses from readers to a question about whether or not online dating was still worth the effort. The writers found that the responses fell roughly into two groups: 1. Disgruntled, or 2. Married.

Now isn’t that amazingly true? Either you have found what you are looking for—and are happy! Or you haven’t found your mate and are disappointed.

Think about it: Here you are, in the middle of probably THE most difficult process imagainable—finding the best person to spend your life with. All you need to find is one, THE one, but the numbers to wade through are huge! So unless you are brand new and still excited about the possibilities, or unless you have found your True Love and dropped out of the race, then likely you are pretty frustrated.

There are really only two possibilities: that you have accomplished your goal, or you haven’t YET. And “haven’t yet” can feel like a not-happy place. But it is not a doomed place.

Recognize that I wrote “haven’t yet.” Before you have met your mate, you “haven’t yet.” You have not failed, and Internet dating is not failing you. You just “haven’t yet” met your match.

That does not mean that you won’t, just that you haven’t yet. So you need to keep at it. The only other choice is to give up, and what will happen if you do that? Most likely, nothing.

“Haven’t yet” implies that you will at some point meet your Sweetheart. You haven’t failed. You simply “haven’t yet.”

From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord



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