Kathryn's Blog

“Your Wonderful Blog” and Women Making the First Move

Yesterday, I got two separate email blog compliments—one titled “Your Wonderful Blog”! Yea! I am doing something right! The other emailer asked that I write about “Is it okay for women to make the first move on Internet dating?” That’s a great question, and I said an immediate “Yes!” Here’s the short answer I sent back to the writer: “Absolutely! The Internet is a great leveler, and not only is it okay for women to take the initiative, I really urge them to. You are much more likely to get what you want if you do the picking yourself.”

Here’s a bit more detail: Even though we keep hearing the worn-out advice for women to hold back, that men like to pursue, lots of men find that role burdensome. Not only that, often guys are so discouraged themselves that they find it impossible to risk rejection. I interviewed one fellow who was a highly eligible professional, recently divorced, and so traumatized by the ending of his marriage that he didn’t even write his own profile—a woman friend did it for him. And he was determined that he would contact No One on his own. He sat and waited, and sure enough, his now lady friend got in touch with him first. He was so relieved.

And here’s another angle: If you only respond to contacts and never initiate, then you are restricted to whoever happens to stumble onto your profile and then have the guts to get in touch. Do you really want to limit your choice that way? What about the guys whose searches don’t come up with you? I found my Drew—he would never have found me, because he was searching closer to home, within 100 miles. I searched 500 miles, and he was 482 miles away, door to door.

Any more questions? Send ‘em on!

From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord



Great Idea. I always limit my searches closest to my area. I had a long distance relationship before it was really hard. But now, I’m willing to give a shot again.

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