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10 FAQ: 3. What is the best dating site for me?

What’s your pressing question about dating online?  Here’s my 10 FAQ, then my answer to 3. What is the best dating site for me? below.  I’ve already answered the first two, and you can see what I had to say by clicking the link after 1 and 2.

1. I am so scared I don’t know where to start.  What can I do?  For my answer, click here.
2. Does Internet dating work? For my answer, click here.
3. What is the best dating site for me? 
4.  Why don’t they answer my emails?
5. I don’t want to be recognized on a dating site by my family/friends/clients/co-workers/students.  What can I do to prevent that?
6. Shouldn’t I try eHarmony?
7. Is it okay to lie about my age?
8. How do I tell my date about xyz?
9. There are no good men/women where I live.  Should I even try?
10. This shouldn’t be so hard.  Why does Internet dating take so much time?  Shouldn’t love “just happen”?

Everyone wants to know what the best dating site is for their search. It’s a good question, because there are hundreds if not thousands of dating sites out there at any one time.  For good reason: Internet dating sites – the big ones, anyway – make a lot of money.  So lots of folks are trying to get in on the game by starting a dating site with some new angle.  And most of them fade away.  As appealing as it may seem to be on a site that caters to vegetarians, dog-lovers, or the tattooed, the name of this mating game is numbers: the higher the numbers, the more choice you have, and the more likely it is that you will find just the right mate.

The biggest site, actually, is free: PlentyofFish.com, but I do not recommend it, ever. First, you get what you pay for. Free sites attract people who can’t pay or don’t want to, folks who are there to play or for all sorts of reasons other than to look for serious love. PlentyofFish wastes no money on frills like good resolution so that your pictures won’t get distorted. In short, don’t got there.

eHarmony advertizes a lot, and usually comes to mind for people thinking about looking for love online.  eHarmony has appeal, sending you matches based on your own answers to hundreds of questions.  But eHarmony has a number of serious flaws, the biggest of which are the matches that they do send. How do you (or they) know what is the best match for you, and what about the people that they do NOT send you, those you never see? Most of my clients report frustration with the process, how long it takes, and the huge numbers of inappropriate candidates they are sent.  If you want to know more about my gripes with eHarmony, go to my blog and click eHarmony (listed in the categories on the lower left) My advice: avoid eHarmony. 

Why waste your time and money? Match.com is really the best place to go. Not only is Match.com about the oldest of the dating sites, but also, they now run Yahoo! Personals, which was Match’s biggest competitor. It’s hard to get real figures on dating sites, and even Match’s own numbers conflict (Match variously claims 20,000 and 60,000 new registrants daily), but suffice it to say, Match is where the best action is. Match has also worked hard to keep the site “clean” (no crotch shot photos or erotic essays) and stylish. Yes, the numbers are big, but really, that’s what you want.  Match will send you suggestions for matches.  But you will have the best results if you search and contact potentials yourself.  You just need to figure out how to wade through and sort.  Remember, you only have to get lucky once. Go to Match.com and get started. Now.



A WARNING ABOUT SITES LIKE MATCH.COM. Match.com allows people who do not live in town, who are of wrong age, who are married or otherwise in relationships to date on its site. So they may not be thieves but they are looking to take ADVANTAGE OF WOMEN.

I have noticed that since 2009 a lot of men who would have actually used prostitutes have moved to sites like Match.com to find sex and they will lie through their teeth to get it. I know one guy who actually put down he is 44 but is actually 51, wants kids but doesn’t, doesn’t live in the location his profile indicates, has been incarcerated, and generally has a pretty incorrect profile. Also he is in a relationship with another woman in the city he actually lives in. All of this I reported to Match.com…and they will not shut down his profile. They continue to keep it up…knowing that the entire profile is a lie.

I think Match.com specifically has become a magnet for men who were otherwise no longer able to afford prostitutes and now come to the site for the same…only they pay 10th of the price and lie to the women to take advantage of them.

Online dating…especially Match.com are the way of johns.com now. Any decent person who is looking for a real relationship…BEWARE!!!

If the man is an American, I suggest you do a complete background check on Intellus.com site where you can find out the real age, if they are married, if they have a criminal background or otherwise are lying about where they actually live. It costs about $12 and is worth every penny!

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