Kathryn's Blog

Anybody Been to a Cuddle Party?

Here’s a Dr. Brothers exerpt from the Seattle PI that grabbed my interest. I remember reading about these “Cuddle Party” things a couple of years ago. Anybody been to one that can give us some feedback?

DEAR DR. BROTHERS: I read a lot of stuff on the Internet, and everyone is buzzing about these new events called “cuddle parties,” where 15 or 20 people get together in someone’s apartment or house. They put on pajamas, pull out their special blankets or stuffed animals, and hug and cuddle one another. There is supposedly no sex allowed, and all the people are virtual strangers. What the heck is up with this? It sounds ridiculous!—V.K.

DEAR V.K.: Well, one man’s meat is another man’s poison, and there are probably many people who find the idea of cuddling without commitment or fear of sexually transmitted diseases the best idea since cybersex—only with lots of, well, stroking included. If it’s a ploy for meeting other singles, we’ll just have to wait to see if the technique works out well. I frankly don’t know if many men will be persuaded to don pajamas and pay someone for the privilege of engaging in group hugs. On the other hand, it’s probably not any weirder or more unnatural than those lightning-round dating nights where you have less than 10 minutes each to evaluate a series of new dating prospects.

Seriously, there are many people for whom touching and non-sexual cuddling are basic needs, and who aren’t getting any (of these!) in their daily lives. We do tend to be a culture where touching and hugging stop pretty much as we enter adolescence. And yet it is well-known to psychologists that these types of interaction greatly increase our feelings of belonging and well-being. If that satisfaction can overcome the feeling of infantilism that could be brought on by jammies and teddy bears, and the whole thing isn’t taken too seriously, then perhaps cuddle parties will become the wave of the future. In the meantime, I suspect that most people will prefer to confine their cuddling to their spouses, their kids and their dogs, and keep their emotional “blankies” stuffed in a corner of the closet.

From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord



How does one get from cuddling a stranger to having a spouse? That is what Cuddle Party provides, an opportunity to try out potential partners and feel their energy, perhaps even sample a kiss.
They are great!

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