Matchmakers Meet
Last weekend, Drew and I were in New York City (or more precisely, Weehawken, NJ, which is right across the river from Manhattan) at the “Worldwide Conference” of Matchmakers. This was the first one ever, or at least in recent memory, and what an interesting group of people to spend some time with! Graciously, or perhaps to improve the attendance, the matchmakers also included dating coaches, which is why I was there.
I’ve written about matchmakers here in my blog before. Frankly, I am such a do-it-yourselfer that I just can’t see paying someone else to do the work for me. It’s hard for me to take people seriously when they complain about how much Internet dating costs. It’s CHEAP, particularly when you start looking around at matchmakers. One guy at the conference was with a business that charges $60,000 to $120,000!!! Yup, that’s the right number of zeros you are seeing.
Matchmakers have seen a surge in business by riding on the coattails of Internet dating. While dating sites do take a chunk of business that matchmakers might have gotten before, Internet dating has paved the way for people to actually think about hiring someone to help them find love. And the theme I heard over and over was the potential market for matchmakers in frustrated online daters.
Still, the fantasy that many may have about matchmakers being able to find you a mate when you can’t find one yourself has many limitations. First, you still better be pretty marketable yourself: Attractive, in good health, not too old, and with something to offer. Particularly if you are female. ALL the matchmakers complained about the shortage of men, where do you find dates for these ladies?
And remember, matchmakers can only match you with people they have on their own roster. What if your perfect mate lives outside the matchmaker’s area, or would never sign up? Most matchmakers do not allow browsing through their roster either. You are subject to who they pick for you. Me? Uh uh.
Matchmakers also remind me of eHarmony, in that they do not take on people they don’t think they can match. Or the less ethical may take a client regardless of their match-ability, simply for the money. Yick. In fact, matchmakers used to routinely reject all women Over a Certain Age (like 40 or 45). For sure, the older you are if you are female, the greater your chances of being turned down by the matchmaker. Let alone a date.
So if you are male, have the bucks to spend, and no time to waste, you might do okay with matchmaking. However if you are female and over 40, you’d do much better getting online and doing the work yourself. That’s where the guys are.
Kathryn,
I met you at the conference and I was one of the matchmakers you tried to recruit to sell your books, dating coaching service etc. I was interested in us partnering together, that is until I read what you had to say about matchmakers. I must point out that you are giving your readers false information. There were many matchmakers at the conference who specialize in working with clients (even women clients over the age of 45!) and not all matchmaking services are hyper expensive. I worked for a matchmaking service for years that averaged out to be $20 per week or $1000 per year (my clients found it saved a lot of time and in the long run saved money and heart ache too!) Clients who are single and interested in looking for a good qualified matchmaker should go online to the Matchmaking Institute, they completely screen the matchmakers and refer the single client to someone who is good and who can help them and one who works within their budget! If you know of a good relationship coach who believes in what matchmakers do and doesn’t just try to recruit them and then turn around and bad mouth them…let me know.
Dissapointed Matchmaker in Michigan,
Heather
Posted by Heather on 10/21 at 09:01 PM