Kathryn's Blog

On Truth Telling

If you are one of my regular readers, you know what a stickler I am for singles always being truthful in their profiles and online communications.  Mark Brook who writes OnlinePersonalsWatch (and does a real service for Internet daters) started a lively interchange on his blog a few days ago.  Mark’s position is like mine: Never lie.  It’s just not worth it.  And don’t tolerate it in others.

I couldn’t help but jump into the fray, and did, with two lengthy entries: The first was a reference back to my own blog posting here dated 9/26/2006.  Not content to leave well enough alone, I added another piece:

Further comment:

We all need to remember that we (and others) are constantly telling others about ourselves all the time—They (and we) have only to be willing to listen. What does it say about us if we lie? Or excuse lying? Or encourage it?

Particularly when we are working with folks who are trying to establish life-long loving and trusting relationships, we need to have an acute awareness of the process of relationship building and the establishment of trust. What does it say about us if we encourage, accept, or excuse behavior that is counter-productive to what people say they want? These people are single for a reason, and MAYBE one of those reasons is that there is a major disconnect between who they are and who they say they are.

What’s wrong with being 61 and looking 55? Say it and be proud. When your date says you don’t look 61, smile confidently, because you know it is true. You will not have to squirm and wonder when they are going to find out the truth.

And I absolutely agree with Eric Resner: Other people’s searches should not be your concern at all. If someone finds you, it’s a bonus. Do your own work and your own picking. You are much more likely to get what you want.

Kathryn Lord, Your Romance Coach



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