Do You Love It?
I read an article the other day about de-cluttering your life. De-cluttering and organization are hot new topics nowadays. All a result of having too much of everything. Seems a little obscene, doesn’t it, that we have to worry about too much when so many don’t have enough?
Anyway, the author gave three rules to ask yourslef for de-cluttering that I thought were gems:
- Do you love it?
- Do you need it?
- Is it useful?
Since Drew and I will be moving sometime in this next year, those rules are going to be put to good use!
But it occurred to me that those de-cluttering rules are also good ones for deciding about relationships. For whether to pursue a relationship or not:
- Do you love being in a relationship? Do you feel best and more yourself when partnered? Do you enjoy the every give-and-take of having an intimate partner?
- Do you want that kind of closeness? I changed “need” to “want” because “need” is too heavy a word. I prefer want, because need implies “have to, ” and want implies “choice.”
- Is a relationship useful for your life and growth?
I’d look for a strong “Yes” in answer to each of those quesitons.
As to a particular person:
- Do you love him or her? Do you feel warm and generous around your Sweetheart? Are you concerned for their growth and well-being as much as for your own?
- Do you want him or her? Are you drawn towards this person and desire his or her company? Do you want their presence and desire their intimacy?
- Do you find this person useful—for company, challenge, stimulations, caretaking, planning or sharing?
Again, I’d look for a strong “Yes” to each of those questions. Any “maybe’s” or “no’s” should be looked at carefully and questioned.
From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord
