Kathryn's Blog

Do You Love It?

I read an article the other day about de-cluttering your life. De-cluttering and organization are hot new topics nowadays. All a result of having too much of everything. Seems a little obscene, doesn’t it, that we have to worry about too much when so many don’t have enough?

Anyway, the author gave three rules to ask yourslef for de-cluttering that I thought were gems:

  1. Do you love it?
  2. Do you need it?
  3. Is it useful?

Since Drew and I will be moving sometime in this next year, those rules are going to be put to good use!

But it occurred to me that those de-cluttering rules are also good ones for deciding about relationships. For whether to pursue a relationship or not:

  1. Do you love being in a relationship? Do you feel best and more yourself when partnered? Do you enjoy the every give-and-take of having an intimate partner?
  2. Do you want that kind of closeness? I changed “need” to “want” because “need” is too heavy a word. I prefer want, because need implies “have to, ” and want implies “choice.”
  3. Is a relationship useful for your life and growth?

I’d look for a strong “Yes” in answer to each of those quesitons.

As to a particular person:

  1. Do you love him or her? Do you feel warm and generous around your Sweetheart? Are you concerned for their growth and well-being as much as for your own?
  2. Do you want him or her? Are you drawn towards this person and desire his or her company? Do you want their presence and desire their intimacy?
  3. Do you find this person useful—for company, challenge, stimulations, caretaking, planning or sharing?

Again, I’d look for a strong “Yes” to each of those questions. Any “maybe’s” or “no’s” should be looked at carefully and questioned.

From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord



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