Kathryn's Blog

Ghad!  Terrible advice!

I just read the following letter and answer in an advice column by Dr. Erika Schwartz in the Boston Herald:

Q. I am a 45-year-old widow who has started dating again after 10 years of raising four children alone. I am embarrassed to say, I desperately want to meet a good man but I won’t use the Internet dating sites. Is there hope for me, or should I just give up?
- K.P., Brockton
A. As long as we are alive there is hope. You successfully raised a large brood; why would you doubt your ability to meet the right man now that you have experience and wisdom? Join a church or synagogue, book club, social club, charity or adult-education class, anything that piques your interest. I am confident the right man will find you. Just keep your eyes open and enjoy the process.

What a sad letter and what aninadequatee answer! First off, what’s embarrassing about wanting to meet a good man? And hasn’t this woman been listening to what’s been happening the last few years as far as Internet dating is concerned? It’s mainstream, for heaven’s sake! And dating sites provide the very best way to meet more singles than you could ever meet in any other way combined.

The good doctor gives all the old saw advice about joining religious groups, clubs, charities, most of which are dominated by women. Then says the right man will find her. Aaaahhh! 45 year old women are not Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. It is highly unlikely that some man is going to find this poor lady with out some effort on her part.

And now the “desperate” part: Nothing is more unattractive than desperation. And desperation clouds good judgmentt. I can’t think of a better cure for desperation than getting on a good online dating site like Yahoo! Personals or Match.com and seeing how many guys are as interested in finding a mate as you are. Instant relief.

From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord



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