“Hooking Up” Episode #4
Oy. How many more bumbled relationships can I stand to watch? I am now glad that there is only one more installment of “Hooking Up"left.
Amy. Amy, Amy, Amy. I knew it. She is too superficial to appreciate Matt, the only guy we have seen her with who wasn’t all flash. She dumps him, and it looks like by not returning his calls or messages. Rude. Then she gets bent out of shape when she drops playboy Dave and he absolutely follows her lead. In fact, he thinks he dropped her. Cool.
Sonja was on for the first time. I didn’t catch date #1’s name, but what a playboy he is! Starts out with a statement about living in New York, that if you want to be shallow and sleep with a lot of women, that’s the place to live. Though he allows that is getting old. He manages to get Sonja back to his apartment after dinner—bad move, Sonja! I have to assume that the only reason she agreed to go was because of the presence of the cameraman. Of course, he plasters the moves on, even though she clearly does not want it, and she later says the only thing that saved her was the safety pin holding her blouse together. Yea for safety pins. Ladies, do NOT go to a guy’s apartment, especially on a first date, without thoroughly expecting moves towards sex. Ironically, date #1 says afterwards something like he admired her for saying no, even though he pressed her for sex relentlessly.
But then Sonja does better. Date #2 Mitchell and date #3 Ken are serious contenders for first place. Mitchell does not make a good first impression, but really grows on Sonja. He is clearly quite taken by her and spurred on by knowing Ken is in the wings. Mitchell really scores big with Valentine’s Day, picking her up in a limo, with flowers, champagne and chocolates. AND he is dressed in a black velvet suit. In the flash forward to the next episode, he gives her pink pajamas and a pre-engagement ring. All right, Mitchell!
Reisha. Reisha keeps her “no sex” rule, and also wants to continue to see other guys, while keeping Acie on the string. Acie is being a very good sport, traveling to NYC from Atlanta to see her, and then hosting her back at his home in Atlanta. He sleeps on the couch at her place, in separate bedrooms at his. But understandably, he is getting antsy, and at least wants an agreement about exclusive dating. Nope from Reisha. The two of them go down the tubes.
Kristen also debuts. The camera takes Kristen rapidly through 6 first dates. Finally, Mike, #6 looks like a keeper. Hooray! Except… flash forward to the previews: It looks as if date #2 bombs.
If there is a lesson in this segment, it’s “Hang in there.” I can’t believe that if these dates were given more of a chance, more of them would work out. It’s unrealistic to expect perfection on a first date. Both parties are nervous and can easily become more so as they bounce off each other. Unless a first date is a clear"No way!” try a second or third in different settings to see if anything better develops. Like with Sonja and Mitchell.
From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord
Hi Kathryn:
I actually continue to see hope for Amy. IMO, she continues to grow and mature through the dating process. I actually understand exactly where she was coming from with Matt ... I think her language was “he’s a little off”. I kind of agree ... he is a little less interesting, less exciting, and has less charisma than her other dates. Should she have given him more of a chance ... another date or two? Maybe. Also, I don’t see anything wrong with not returning his calls at this stage. Would I prefer that women are always straightforward upfront and honest at that stage? Sure. But it’s not reality ... not based on my experience. After 2 or 3 dates and not much of a physical relationship, no one just tells you that they don’t want to take it any further. More important is Amy’s realization that she is looking for someone like Matt in terms of maturity and marriage-material ... but with a bit more personality. I also note that she was willing to dump both of them and be alone! I see this as breakthrough progress on her part. If only I was a little younger :-).
I also liked Sonja. Yes ... it wasn’t wise to go up to date #1’s apt on the 1st date. But she stuck to her guns and didn’t cave in. And she showed AMAZING signs to me of patience, of being non-judgemental, and willingness to get to know Mitchell and Ken better. Especially Mitchell who is not exactly the best-looking one on the show! Bravo! If only there were more NYC women like her. But alas ... she is a rare exception to the rule ... as you can see from the behavior of the other women on this show.
I think another thing you must keep in mind with internet dating is you do not know the person ahead of time as you do in “normal” dating situations. Therefore, you almost have to give it 2 or 3 dates if you see any possibilities on the 1st date. Chemistry is just not always going to be there on a blind date or coming straight off the internet. There is too much riding on that first date.
L.
Posted by Anonymous on 08/05 at 11:38 AM