Kathryn's Blog

SAQ #4. What photo should I use?

This question probably should be “Which photo SHOULDN’T I use?” Most folks should dump what they are using or are tempted to use and start over.

Just about every profile that I am asked to review could use better photos. Especially the guys. Let’s start with a list of “do’s”:

1. Strongly consider getting professional photos. I recommend LookBetterOnline.com. Everyone who has taken my advice and used LookBetterOnline has been delighted with the results, and the emails they get confirm the choice.
2. If you skip the professional route, get a friend to take lots of digital photos of you.  Outside is good, natural light and a pretty background. Inside shots can look dreary. Make sure the background is not distracting.
3. Less is more. Use one head shot, one full length, and perhaps one or two of you doing something interesting. One client had the LookBetterOnline photographer shoot him on his racing bicycle. Another was wading in the surf.
4. Dress simply and well. No prints or plaids, solid colors that look good on you. Pick an outfit that you would wear on an informal date, like nice pants and a sports jacket for men, a dress or skirt for women that shows a little leg—but not too much.
5. Cover up, for the most part. No bare chests, guys. Ladies, too. Save the skin for later. Keep your presentations clean.
6. Exhibit good grooming. Fresh haircuts and updates styles. If you have facial hair: guys, trim and tidy, consider shaving it off and automatically lose a few years; ladies, bleach, pluck, wax, or zap.
7. One or two photos with your pet is okay.  More than two pets gets weird.
8. Smile. A lot.


1. Do not use pictures with other people in them. You don’t want the viewer to not know which one is you, or to think that your friends are better looking than you are.
2. Do not use photos where you obviously cut out someone else, particularly that someone with their arm around you and clearly the opposite sex.
3. Do not use photos of your children or you with your children.
4. Do not use web cam photos or photos using your bathroom mirror. Who wants to see your toilet, seat up or down?
5. Lose the hats, caps, sunglasses, and muscle shirts. Folks want to see your eyes and whether you have hair – on your heat, not your chest or armpits.
6. Guys: women really don’t care about how big your motorcycle is, or what kind of car you have. Well, that might not be strictly true, but you risk turning good women off. Let them be impressed later.



Leave a Comment

Next entry: Target rich environments for women and men: Meetup

Previous entry: SAQ # 3. I want my Sweetheart to accept me for who I am.


Contact Kathryn by phone at , by email at

home | kathryn's romance newsletter | test yourself | new, fun, free | facts
about kathryn and coaching | who is kathryn lord? | kathryn's own cyberromance story | what is romance coaching? | are you ready for romance coaching? | what kathryn's clients say | want to try romance coaching?
kathryn's blog | contact kathryn


Copyright 2003-2011 Kathryn B. Lord