Kathryn's Blog

Something outside of normal? Use it to your advantage

Veronica is “vertically challenged.” At 4’ 7”, tiny is an overstatement.  What do you think I gave Veronica for advice?

kathryn, the guys can’t believe i’m only 4ft 7 and then feel like they will be dating their little sister.  also i’m widowed and they say they don’t want to compete with a dead man. i’m sick of this and hate being single. help!!!!!!!!  Veronica

Veronica, 4’ 7” is really on the short end of heights for women, and highly unusual.  But I don’t need to tell YOU that.  It is a truth for you, however, and can’t be hidden.  “Normal” dating, online and off, works best for people in the “normal” range, whether it be height, weight, appearance, education, status, etc. 

Your situation is going to cut out almost all men, right off the bat.  But some men are going to be just fine with going out with a woman who is well under 5 feet.  These men will either be very short themselves (and therefore ignored by women who want men who are taller than they are), or intrigued by the difference and thing your height is cute, or men who are sort of fetishistic (who like small women just because they are small).  So your first filter (the sorting you do, getting rid of the most unlikely candidates, or those you really don’t want) is: get rid of all the guys who wouldn’t want a woman as short as you.  Bye bye.

So make a point of your height: That will get rid of a lot.  Then turn it to your advantage: market yourself to shorter men, those under 5’5” let’s say.  Write to them something like: “How would you like to tower over your date, rather than peer up at them?” Or “Never lie about your height again, just to get a date.”

I’ll bet, with a little time, you’ll be able to find several guys who are as “vertically challenged” as you are and think you are just adorable.  I’m also guessing that being widowed will not bother them much, and there are ways to play that positively, too.  No ex’s around to cause problems, or “Already comfortable with being a wife, no break in period,” for instance.

You’ve heard of the expression “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”?  Start squeezing your lemons.  Kathryn



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