That Other 5%: Liars and Cheats Online
Though I’m a firm believer that 95% plus of people listing on Internet dating sites are basically sincere and honest, for the most part, clearly some of those posting are downright deceptive. A chilling story came across the wires today about just that sort of manipulative cad. Kathryn Martin met Sam Martin III from Martin, KY, on ChristianMatch.com a year ago. They married in less than two months, but didn’t live together full time. Come to find out, he was having affairs with at least fifteen other women since they married. That was one busy guy. You’ve got to read the article to get the full story with all it’s twists and turns. (Just to be completely clear: Not all cads are men. Cads come in female versions, too, and I’ll not shy from telling you about them.)
Honesty and how to tell if someone is lying are big concerns of Internet daters, and should be equally big concerns of anyone dating these days. In earlier times, people tended to meet and marry in the same circles and could get character references from friends and family. I’d guess that marrying within one’s own community and social group is getting more the exception than the rule these days. People move around a lot more now, and the Internet has only aided in helping to connect up with people you’d never have met any other way. So whether someone is being completely truthful becomes a major issue.
Kathryn Martin’s story is a good example of not trusting the perceived safety of Christian sites. Just because someone has posted a profile on such a site, says he’s a “Man of God,” and builds churches, is not automatically a good character reference. I wrote about just this issue in an earlier blog posting.
Interestingly, even Sam Martin’s parents and grandparents seemed in on the deception, But other family members tipped her and another of Sam’s women, Misty Schoff. Thank goodness for that. And Kathryn Martin is getting back: She’s started a web site devoted to spreading the word about Sam. Take a look. And if you’ve been taken in by Sam, email Kathryn Martin. She’ll be good to talk to.
From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord
Hi, this is Kathryn Martin. I just saw this article today, and wow, it has made the rounds, huh?
I did want to clarify something though. The Arkansas Times article was incorrect as to the name of the site I met Sam. It was actually http://www.christianmingle.com. They have since updated the article and changed it.
Thanks so much for posting this article! Any way to help stop this man from hurting ANOTHER woman, plus to warn others about this type thing, well, that’s what I am doing it for!
Posted by Kat on 04/19 at 09:45 AM