Kathryn's Blog

That Other 5%: Liars and Cheats Online

Though I’m a firm believer that 95% plus of people listing on Internet dating sites are basically sincere and honest, for the most part, clearly some of those posting are downright deceptive. A chilling story came across the wires today about just that sort of manipulative cad. Kathryn Martin met Sam Martin III from Martin, KY, on ChristianMatch.com a year ago. They married in less than two months, but didn’t live together full time. Come to find out, he was having affairs with at least fifteen other women since they married. That was one busy guy. You’ve got to read the article to get the full story with all it’s twists and turns. (Just to be completely clear: Not all cads are men. Cads come in female versions, too, and I’ll not shy from telling you about them.)

Honesty and how to tell if someone is lying are big concerns of Internet daters, and should be equally big concerns of anyone dating these days. In earlier times, people tended to meet and marry in the same circles and could get character references from friends and family. I’d guess that marrying within one’s own community and social group is getting more the exception than the rule these days. People move around a lot more now, and the Internet has only aided in helping to connect up with people you’d never have met any other way. So whether someone is being completely truthful becomes a major issue.

Kathryn Martin’s story is a good example of not trusting the perceived safety of Christian sites. Just because someone has posted a profile on such a site, says he’s a “Man of God,” and builds churches, is not automatically a good character reference. I wrote about just this issue in an earlier blog posting.

Interestingly, even Sam Martin’s parents and grandparents seemed in on the deception, But other family members tipped her and another of Sam’s women, Misty Schoff. Thank goodness for that. And Kathryn Martin is getting back: She’s started a web site devoted to spreading the word about Sam. Take a look. And if you’ve been taken in by Sam, email Kathryn Martin. She’ll be good to talk to.

From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord



Hi, this is Kathryn Martin.  I just saw this article today, and wow, it has made the rounds, huh?

I did want to clarify something though.  The Arkansas Times article was incorrect as to the name of the site I met Sam.  It was actually http://www.christianmingle.com.  They have since updated the article and changed it.

Thanks so much for posting this article!  Any way to help stop this man from hurting ANOTHER woman, plus to warn others about this type thing, well, that’s what I am doing it for!

I had a similar experience with a guy in Florida who says he loves to travel.  I find out after a few months of seeing him every weekend that he was on at least four singles sites, including the “adult” (swinger) site.

Other women from a travel group he was associated with told me he dates multiple women at once.  On one of the websites he was on there was a lady who posted an warning about him.

How do you know that these guys are operators?  And where do you go to warn other women of the more egregious cases of abuse.

I reported him to Match where I “met” him and he was off for a few weeks but then got back on.  They supposedly investigated him but when I asked they said it required a subpoena to see the information.  I don’t believe they ever did much other than get his side of the story.

Kathryn Martin
I have meet three different pastors on the singles website. Pastor one from Gravel Ridge Ar. open the door of communication with me by letting me know how much my profile impressed him; how he wanted to get to know me. I figuared if this man is sincer he will give me his email or phone. He was leading me on from the begaining wasting my time putting me hold. He was not serious at all. He was playing mind games with me.

There is another Prophet Grif also ugly from the beganning, unkind, and smart character, very humiliateing.

I have gone on 5 or 6 websites just to fine an honest christian with intagety. Not one pastor has shown any honesty or serieousness. Simply playing mind games with women.

Wolves in the Pulpit would be a good book for some of the Pastors that I have seen.
I to was decieved by a man that is a Pastor in Indianapollis, In. This man was so smooth that I was left dumbfounded at how he got me.
ME, who was the queen of wolf spotters.
Being in ministry myself I just could not think of a Pastor lying and sleeping around and still trying to bring forth the Word of God.
They do not understand that they are dealing with a spirit of lust that is trying to destroy them and what God has set forth for them to do.
We were going to get married until he found out I discovered all the other women from all the other BBW and dating sites.
Google him “drpcrowemd” and you will see what I mean.
Sad thing is this man is 72 and still lying and playing games with the children of God.
He is in the “Fire Baptize Holiness Church of God of the America” as DR.Preston R.Crowe MD.
Sadly I still love him, but I am NOT a dumb sheep. I had sense enough to bandage up my wounds and run to the the Shepherd(God) for healing.
Wolves in the Pulpit are not just in one faith but all. Ask the Lord cover you.
I just pray that they get it right before God calls them home. Some sooner than they think.
I would like to take the time to apologize to all the women that have been decieved by these pastors.
I apologize for every hurt and emotional scar that they may have inflicted on you.
I speak healing to that place of guilt that would try to comsume you due to soul ties from any sexual encounters.
Get up, and run now to the Shepherd.
I too have done my share of crying but you have to learn to Forgive and keep them in Prayer.
Remember the word of God is true and says “God is not mocked, what so ever a man sow, that he shall reap”

Wow.  What a story.


Having read through your comments and advise to new swingers , I have to say that as a young couple we have now been swinging for a number of years but still found your site very interesting , and there are plenty of tips that even a more ‘experienced’ couple should perhaps take note of!!…How refreshing to find a site that is really down to earth about the subject!
I have tried to find information from several sources…and this site has been great just the same http://www.online4love.com

People that lie are everywhere.. I know it, my boyfriends does it all the time. For example, yesterday he was very ill.. and he phoned me first just at the end of the day. Today, being worried I gave him a call, but he wouldn’t answer or call back.. To later find out that he was alive and awake outside with his cousin..hmm..what should I think anymore?

I met Sam Martin III in Ar and then again in Cape Coral. I knew he was a liar and was able to walk away. My heart goes out to the woman who were scammed by this guy.

I hope you still check or get these messages. I am Sam’s daughter and have been looking for him for a VERY VERY LONG time, to no avail. My mom wasnt much help and left him before I was born. They dated when they both lived in Lexington, 32 years ago. I know this search doesnt have a lot to do with you but can you please contact me! I would be greatly appreciative. PLESE PLEASE email me. .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) .

I think that is not right, because when God calls you to be a pastor, when you stand in the pulpit, and give the word to the people, you are the head. Pastors stands out and people look up to them because they are the head. I know we aren’t perfect and we have or downfalls, God is not a mockery and he is not anyone to play with, you can’t serve two GODS either love one or hate the other. You take away the trust, by being dishonest, God isn’t a dishonest God, God is honest God. That’s why they say “Trust NO MAN!” So who can you trust if not God.

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