Kathryn's Blog

Chemistry, Branjolina, and Lasting Relationships

We all have to stand in line at the grocery store once in awhile, and if so, you can’t have NOT seen the tabloids screaming about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I mean really, haven’t we got better things to think about? Like war, disease, and nuclear bombs? Well, maybe curiosity about Branjolina is a welcome distraction. Though the couple seems pretty boring to me.

Which leads to sex appeal and chemistry. Those two seem to have it, and everybody would like to have it, too. Certainly “Chemistry” is what every single who is doing online dating seems to want. Match.com even has its own url devoted to Chemistry. For sure, at least a little is nice.

But think about it: If chemistry was the most important factor in relationship success, Hollywood couples would have the longest lasting relationships in the world. And if so, what would the National Inquirer do for stories? Real news, maybe?

What folks call chemistry is a biological phenomenon designed to get individuals over their fears and obstacles so that they can have sex—lots of it—and reproduce. It usually lasts between six months and two years. Then, biologically, the needs of baby and family take over to keep the couple together. If you are lucky, your lust has snagged someone who also is of good character. You know what happens if you are unlucky.

In the heat of the moment, try to keep in mind that looks (and sex appeal) fade. Good character does not. Lust is not a good predictor of character. Try to keep your reasoning and logical brain involved in the process.

From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord



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