Kathryn's Blog

Looking for a Jewish Mate?

The one religious group I hear from regularly looking for spouses of the same faith are Jewish.  Actually, who I hear from are Jewish women, usually 40 and over.  The slice of this subgroup having the most difficult time seem to be never married women in their 40’s.  Women in their 50’s and 60’s, even those never married, have an easier time.

Several demographics problematically come together for these age 40’s women: The national trend of both men and women to put of first marriages well into their 30’s; The proverbial ticking clock (approaching menopause) which combines with the seeming heavier-than-average stress on marriage, family and children for Jewish adults; Men’s awareness (and avoidance) of women’s growing pressure to get on with marriage and child-bearing; The fact that both men and women in this group have successfully avoided getting married yet; And the low proportion of Jews in the general population (2%).  If you add in that the individual in question may live outside the geographical concentrations of Jewish population (rural, sparsely populated areas are the worse), these women have a big problem.

Jared Shelly in “The Jewish Exponent” describes the demographics and problems succinctly in his article “Search for a mate gets complicated.”  Shelly writes: “But while age can present a barrier to Jewish daters, it is not the only obstacle to finding one’s match. In a growing trend, as college graduates find jobs or seek graduate degrees outside their native regions, the Jewish community’s net has both expanded across the country and thinned out. There are now a smaller number of Jews in the places where they once traditionally lived.”  Take a look at Shelly’s article for an extensive treatment of this subject.

Internet dating seems made for this spread-out group, and Jdate.com, with its more than 70,000 members, fills a big gap.  Speed dating was INVENTED by a rabbi, for goodness sake, and speed dating events for Jewish singles are very popular.  Speed dating, in fact, seems to have taken a place right beside Internet dating in popularity for all singles.  Seems like the rabbi was onto something. 

From Your Romance Coach, Kathryn Lord



Hi Kathryn,

Interesting that 40’s would have trouble compared to 50’s and 60’s. FWIW, some stats from my research:

Age-range distribution in speed-dating events:
(vs. demographics for the U.S.A. in 2004)

Speed dating specialty events, by theme/city:
(Jewish events are still the most popular)

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